Ch-ch-ch-changes

So, a couple of months ago I wrote about change. I claimed it was easy. You read it, you laughed, and you thought - how is he that old and still that naive? You were right, I was wrong. I am a dolt! :)

I have been considering a few changes lately. Changes that affect me personally, my family, and people close to me. Some changes are things that I can just do in addition to my normal routine. Some changes will totally rearrange my normal routine. So, how do I go about deciding which changes to make, or adding/substituting those changes into my routine?

Some things I just have to do. I need to get to the gym. Once I'm at the gym, the rest is easy. Getting there is the hard part. So, to get there, I just need to get up and go. If I'm in bed, I just need to get out of bed. If I'm sitting down, I just need to stand up and starting moving in the right direction. If I can take that initial step of getting my body to move in the right direction, my body will then have convinced my mind that I am going to the gym, and the rest is easy. Sometimes it's just getting my body to move in the right direction.

What about other decisions - decisions that affect my life and the lives of those around me? Those are more difficult. I can't just "do" those. I mull them over - sometimes for as long as I have to make the decision. It's mind-numbing. Pro, con, pro, con. Doubt. Excitement.

I am not very good at bouncing ideas off other people. I'm actually quite bad at it. If it's my idea, I'm sure I come across as having already made up my mind. Then I sound like it's my way or the highway. If it's someone else's idea, and I disagree, I come across as a jerk who thinks your idea is stupid. If I agree with your idea, I come across as the voice of authority - if I agree, then you can proceed...because I said so.

So getting others' opinions on change is difficult for me - because I'm bad at it. I wish I was better at that.

I am a religious person. Just about everyone that knows me knows that about me. I try not to be "in your face" religious. In fact, quite to the contrary, I just try to live it in my own way, in my personal life. So I do think a lot about getting guidance from my Heavenly Father with the big changes I have to make in my life. I am not always good at asking Him, then listening for the answer. But I do it now and again. When I ask and listen and get an answer it's the best feeling in the world because I can move forward confidently. When I don't do it, I second guess a lot and wonder. I need to do more of the former and less of the latter. I wish I was better at that, too.

So, in the end, I guess I need to change in order to effect change more effectively. Nice!